LGBTQ+ Wedding Photography Guide

Let's be direct. An LGBTQ+ couple hiring a wedding photographer is taking a risk that straight couples never have to think about. You're trusting a stranger to be in your most intimate moments on one of the biggest days of your life, and you're hoping that person genuinely sees your relationship as worthy of celebration. That's a lot of trust.

I've heard stories from couples who hired photographers who seemed fine during the consultation but then defaulted to awkward, stiff posing on the wedding day. Or photographers who kept calling one partner "the bride" and the other "the, uh, other bride." Or worse, photographers who did a technically competent job but somehow managed to make the couple feel like they were being documented rather than celebrated.

The difference shows in the photos. When a photographer is genuinely comfortable, the couple relaxes. When the couple relaxes, you get real emotion. When you get real emotion, you get photographs that make people cry twenty years later. It's that simple. A photographer who's internally uncomfortable, even slightly, will produce photos that feel stiff. The couple will sense it on the day, and the images will reflect it.

This goes beyond sexual orientation too. Non-binary partners, trans individuals, and gender-nonconforming folks all deserve a photographer who doesn't stumble over pronouns or make assumptions about who's wearing what. I had a wedding last year where one partner was a trans man. He was incredibly nervous that the photographer would somehow "out" him to extended family who didn't know. That's a real concern, and a photographer who hasn't thought about it won't handle it well.

Traditional wedding posing follows a formula. The taller person stands behind. The bride angles toward the groom. The groom's hand goes on her waist. Her hand goes on his chest. You've seen it a thousand times. It works fine for couples who fit that mold, but it completely falls apart when you try to force two men, two women, or a non-binary couple into those same positions.

So you don't force it. You start from scratch.

When I'm posing any couple, I start by watching how they naturally interact. Do they lean into each other? Who tends to initiate touch? Is one partner more reserved than the other? These organic cues tell me more about how to pose them than any formula ever could. With a straight couple, a lazy photographer can lean on convention and get acceptable results. With an LGBTQ+ couple, there's no convention to hide behind. You actually have to pay attention. Honestly, it's made me a better photographer for everyone.

For two brides, forget the assumption that one plays a "masculine" role and one plays a "feminine" role. Some couples have that energy naturally, and that's great. But plenty don't, and trying to assign those roles is uncomfortable for everyone. I focus on connection points: foreheads touching, hands intertwined, walking together, laughing at something ridiculous I just said. These work universally because they're about intimacy, not gender roles.

Two grooms present their own considerations. Men are often socialized to be less physically affectionate in public, so they might be stiffer at first. I've found that movement helps. Walking together, dancing, even playfully shoving each other loosens things up faster than standing in a posed position. Once they're laughing, you start shooting. Some of my favorite groom-and-groom portraits happened during transitions between "real" poses.

For non-binary and gender-nonconforming partners, ask how they want to be portrayed. Don't assume. Some non-binary folks are perfectly comfortable with traditionally feminine or masculine posing. Others aren't. A two-minute conversation before the portrait session prevents twenty minutes of awkwardness during it.

One more thing on posing. Always ask about PDA comfort levels. Some LGBTQ+ couples are very affectionate publicly. Others are more private, especially if they're not fully out to everyone at the wedding. Don't push for a dramatic kiss during the portrait session if the couple isn't comfortable with it. You can get a gorgeous intimate photo without lip contact. Read the room.

LGBTQ+ ceremonies vary wildly, and that's part of what makes them wonderful to photograph. I've shot traditional church weddings with two grooms that followed every conventional element. I've photographed wiccan handfasting ceremonies in a forest clearing. I've covered a wedding where both brides walked each other down the aisle simultaneously. Every ceremony is different, and the photographer's job is to be ready for whatever happens.

Getting-ready coverage needs some rethinking. With a straight couple, it's standard to have one photographer with the bride and one with the groom. When you have two brides or two grooms getting ready, you need to decide whether they're in the same space or separate locations. If separate, you'll want either two photographers or a clear timeline for the solo shooter to go back and forth. I always recommend the second shooter approach for this reason.

The aisle walk is another consideration. Who walks down the aisle? In what order? With whom? There's no template here, and that's great. I've seen couples walk in together. I've seen them walk from opposite ends and meet in the middle. I've seen one wait at the altar while the other walks in. I've seen both walk in with their mothers. Every version photographs beautifully. Just make sure you know the plan ahead of time so you're in position. You can't reposition during the processional without being disruptive.

The first dance brings up the same non-issue that people overthink. Two men dancing together. Two women dancing together. It looks exactly as natural as any other couple dancing, and it photographs the same way. Shoot at f/2.8, ISO 1600-3200 depending on the lighting, and focus on emotion. If they're doing a choreographed dance, be sure you've seen the rehearsal or at least discussed the key moments, same as with any reception coverage.

Toasts and speeches often carry heavier emotional weight at LGBTQ+ weddings. There may be friends who were the couple's chosen family during difficult coming-out periods. Parents might give speeches that reference the journey to acceptance. These moments carry immense significance and you have to be locked in, camera ready, not chimping at your LCD screen. Shoot on silent shutter if you've got it. A Canon R5 or Sony A7IV in electronic shutter mode at 1/250th keeps you invisible during these moments.

One detail that surprised me early on: bouquet and garter tosses. Many LGBTQ+ couples skip these entirely because the traditions feel gendered. Others modify them. Both partners throw bouquets, or they do something completely different, like a group photo or a dance-off. Don't assume these elements will be part of the reception. Ask during the timeline planning what traditions they're keeping, modifying, or skipping.

This is the part nobody wants to talk about, but it's real and you need to be ready for it.

Not every family is supportive. Some families come to the wedding out of obligation rather than joy. Some family members won't come at all. Some will come but refuse to participate in family photos. I've been at weddings where a parent was openly hostile during the reception. These situations require a photographer who can read the room, protect the couple's emotional state, and still get the images they need.

I always have a detailed conversation about family dynamics before the wedding. Not just the standard "give me your family photo list" conversation. I ask specific questions. Is everyone coming supportive? Are there family members who might make things tense? Is there anyone who might refuse to be in photos with the couple? Is there anyone the couple doesn't want in photos at all? This isn't being nosy. This is being prepared.

When unsupportive family members are present, I structure the formal photo session strategically. I start with the couple's immediate, supportive circle. Parents who are enthusiastic, siblings who've been there from day one, the best friends who are basically family. I get those photos first so the couple can enjoy that experience without anxiety. Then I work outward to the extended groups where tension might exist. If a family member refuses to participate, I don't make a scene. I move on. The couple doesn't need their photographer creating a confrontation.

Have you ever noticed how family photos set the emotional tone for the rest of the portrait session? If the family formals go smoothly and feel loving, the couple enters their private portrait time relaxed and happy. If the family photos were stressful, it takes work to bring them back up. That's why getting this right matters so much. Speed helps too. I keep my family grouping list tight and move through it efficiently. Nobody, in any type of wedding, wants to stand around for 45 minutes doing family photos. But when family dynamics are fraught, extending that session is especially painful.

One thing I've learned to watch for: the quiet grief. Sometimes an LGBTQ+ couple is deeply happy on their wedding day but carrying sadness that a parent chose not to come, or that a grandparent they loved passed away before same-sex marriage was legal. These emotions might surface during getting ready, during the ceremony, or during a quiet moment at the reception. As a photographer, your job isn't to fix it. Your job is to capture it with dignity and to give the couple space without shoving a camera in their face at the wrong moment. Put the wide-angle down. Give them thirty feet. Shoot at 200mm and let them have their moment.

Anyone can put a rainbow flag on their website. That doesn't mean they know what they're doing. Here's how to figure out who's genuinely experienced and who's just marketing.

First, look at their portfolio. Not just the "LGBTQ+ weddings" page that some photographers create as a separate section (which is itself a bit of a red flag, honestly. Why is it separate?). Look at their main portfolio, their blog, their Instagram. Are LGBTQ+ couples integrated throughout, or are they tokenized in one gallery? Do the LGBTQ+ couples look as relaxed and joyful as the straight couples, or do the poses look stiff and uncertain? You can tell a lot from the images.

Check the language on their website. "Bride and groom" used exclusively is a yellow flag. "Couples" and "partners" as default language is a green one. Pay attention to their contract too. Does it reference "bride" and "groom" in every clause, or does it use gender-neutral terms? A photographer who's done this work will have already updated their contracts and questionnaires.

During the consultation, ask specific questions. Don't just ask "are you LGBTQ-friendly?" because the only answer you'll ever get is yes. Instead try these:

The answers to these questions will tell you everything. A photographer who's done the work will have specific stories, not vague assurances. They'll talk about what they learned from those experiences and how it shaped their approach. A photographer who's just checking a marketing box will give generic answers about how "all love is beautiful" without any substance behind it.

Resources like Equally Wed, Dancing With Her, and local LGBTQ+ wedding planning groups are great for finding vetted photographers. Ask other LGBTQ+ couples who they used and whether they felt genuinely comfortable. Word of mouth in the community is worth more than any advertising. If you're searching for wedding photography in general, start with those community resources and expand from there.

Regarding venues, this matters for photography too. Some venues that are technically open to LGBTQ+ weddings have staff that isn't trained or comfortable. I've been at venues where the coordinator kept slipping up on pronouns or seemed uncertain about how to handle two brides. That energy affects the couple and therefore affects the photos. Ask your venue specifically about their experience with LGBTQ+ events. Look for reviews from other queer couples. A beautiful property with uncomfortable staff isn't worth the stress on your wedding day.

Pricing should be completely transparent and identical to what straight couples pay. The same pricing structure applies. If you're getting quotes that seem higher than what's listed on the website, ask why. The only legitimate additional cost would be logistical factors like separate getting-ready locations requiring two photographers, and that's a cost any couple with two separate preparation locations would incur. Period.